I know everyone reading this has been in class sitting next to one of these annoying bastards. You’re sitting in your freshmen psychology class, and the teacher asks you to do one of those stupid, “What Would You Bring With You if Your Airplane Exploded and Crashed into a Mountain” surveys. If you are like me, you bring the useful things, like rope, fire, and a human corpse to eat. Then, out of nowhere, you get these damn window lickers that spout off about how they’d bring that one bottle of alcohol left on the plane. You think, “Hm… I guess you could use it to enhance the flavor of Steve or if it’s high enough proof maybe one could use it as a fire starter.” Then this clown pukes out, “Holy shit bro/female version of a bro. Screw a lighter, I’m bringin’ tha boozes with me.” Then they laugh out loud, in a way that makes you loathe humanity. “Oh my god dude (Even girls say this. The f**k?), I love drinking so much. Like, I drank (insert rather small number of beers and/or shots) on Saturday at a frat house,” they exclaim to the class, who now hates this “person”. In any given class of around 80 people, there will be about 5 people who do this. All 5 of these people are going to hell.
Next time you see this dingleberry, make sure to let him know you saw their incredible fuck-up. Even though they will probably think what they did was “totally rad” regardless of what you say, let them know it was laughably stupid and it will hopefully plant a small seed in their mind. Consistently do this every week until they (hopefully) start to get the picture. If you do this and succeed, congratulations, you just saved Alcoholics Anonymous the pain of having to listen to another sob story. They don’t get addicted to alcohol due to depression or genetics. They are just dumb.