Sorry for the title, it is a misnomer. There is literally nothing good about the testing system of colleges, it just sounded good. I like to compare testing in college to buying a hooker: You think you make the right choices to protect yourself from all poor outcomes, but you still end up pissing fire afterwards (or just doing poorly). Every day I hear about, and experience, the nightmares that are test scores. When I look into the dark, soulless eyes of my professor as she hands back my test, I know deep down that she is happy. Professors are the Fonzies of the academic world: They just do not give a shit. Just the other day I walked into my house to hear all of my roommates (including myself) bitching about how their test score percentages were lower than the percentage of people in Africa with running water.
He steals your pride and your virginity
Tests that are being given these days register, on a scale of “1-F*** Me Sideways”, at a healthy ranking of “Jesus Tap-Dancing Christ Save Me.” Sorry, but no one can save you, not even Christ in clogs (dance troupe name, anyone?). Sure, when I sit down to take a test, I expect that there will be some questions I do not know. If that was not true, then everyone would get A’s. However, when teacher’s end up grading tests based on a 60% curve, things are getting out of hand. Last time I checked, an average grade was a C, or about 75%, not 60%. That is just an example from the classes that I am taking (business related). When you get into classes such as engineering and calculus, test averages can drop down to 50%, or in Asian parents terms, “Get out of my house.”
One of two things is happening here: The kids are simply lacking in ability and effort, or the teacher is lacking in teaching skills (this does not count for stupid kids that blame bad grades on teachers). I could be wrong, but last time I checked colleges were not full of failures. In some colleges, such as my own, they simply have researchers teach classes in their profession. This leads to many discrepancies between students and teachers due to the fact that these researchers are simply NOT here to teach us. It also does not help that they really have no, for lack of a better word, respect, for our skills. In their eyes, we should all know what they do, but we simply can not. They are here to research and make money.
Hello! I'm Professor Indiana Jones. Four lashings for every wrong answer today!
When I see some of the questions on these abominations, my brain wants to come out of my ears and physically slap my teacher. That can not happen, but for the love of God if it could, I wouldn’t stop it. In calculus, they ask questions that make students cry tears of anguish. If someone is actually able to figure these questions out, I am pretty sure we can figure out a cure for AIDS. In business classes, some teachers are starting to grade our opinions. They give us no rubric on what we said write nor do they give us an idea of what they would like to hear. If they don’t like them, we get crappy grades.
Regardless of teaching techniques or student ability and effort, these test scores are showing that college is not really teaching us things that are applicable in life. If you can get a 75% on a test and still get an A, there needs to be adjustments made. These tests are reflecting an attitude that says “Don’t worry about being perfect, just do okay and you’ll be fine.” This sounds like it could actually make sense. No one needs to be perfect. However, in real life, you can not get 75% of a job done right and expect to succeed. That gets your ass fired in normal jobs and in a hospital it gets you blamed for a death.
In conclusion, all professors want to see you lose your jobs and be charged with murder.
Every professor you will have in college. Every. Damn. One.
